What is BDSM?

 

For the BDSM newbies amongst us a page about the meaning of BDSM. You can't quite box BDSM, for some people it's just another addition to their sexlife, however to others it's a way of life.

 

The letters in the word BDSM do have a meaning, actually 3 meanings. Every part of the word has it's own meaning.

 

  • B & D: Bondage and Discipline
  • D & S: Dominance and Submission
  • S & M: Sadism and Masochism

 

These are the keyword of BDSM. Bondage is the tying up of the partner, discipline means adepting to your partner. Dominance and submission mean the dominating of the submissive and the submission towards the Dominant. The person dominating is called a Dominant and the person submissing is called the submissive. Sadism is getting pleasure out of the submission, pain, and humiliation of the other person. Masochism is the exact opposite, people with masochistic feelings get sexual pleasure out of undergoing on or more sadistic aspects.

 

As said above, BDSM isn't a thing you can just put in a box, because there is no solid pattern. BDSM can be seen as a game, only the rules of the game are made by the "players". The Dominant and sub arrange their own set of "game rules" and when they agree a "play" may follow. Out of the above you can conclude the following: BDSM is always on voluntary basis! Even though there is no solid pattern, there are a few very important rules that you shouldn't just break without thinking it over. These rules are safety guidelines made for a safe play between the Dominant and the sub. These rules are the following:

 

  • Voluntary: Like said before, BDSM is voluntary.
  • Trust: You should trust eachother completely before getting involved in a session.
  • Safety: Safety ALWAYS come's first.
  • Sense: Think before you act, BDSM is as safe as you make it!
  • Safe word: The stopsign.

 

The safeword is basically an extra safety for a BDSM play. As soon as the safe word is said the play stops! Settle for a standard safeword and always check if you both still know the safeword before you start a session. Don's hesitate to use the safe word, is something happening of which you're not quite sure you're ready for, call out the safeword! Another reason to only play with someone you can completely trust, he/she will stop as soon as the safeword is said.

I would like to leave it at this for now but not without leaving you with something to think about.

With great Power, comes great Responsibility. Think about that one.

Elrond